What Do You Think?

[Morgan] It's been awhile since Ashley and Morgan's meetings were anything but utilitarian - a check in here, a lesson there, a paper read on this day, a book asked for on that. Ashley knows, from these meetings, that Morgan's trying to be more social again, though she finds it more and more difficult to relate to a great many of their fellows, let alone the Sleepers she'd spent so much of her life with. There's a snobbery there, or rather, a natural, righteous elevation of self, even as apprentice, above those who are less, or so it seems.

So quickly it comes, even to a relatively new Hermetic. So easily. It could be a matter of defense, or could have started that way, but isn't necessarily so any longer; whatever it is, it's something she can't seem to help.

Today, though, is different. Morgan called ahead and said she'd bring dinner and drinks of a non-alcoholic variety, though if Ashley wanted anything harder that was her call; the apprentice knows how well stocked her mentor's fridge tends to be. Today, she shows up with that same punctuality for which she's becoming known - either exactly on time or five minutes early, and rarely if ever anything else. If she's late, even by a few minutes, something's wrong. If she's early, the same applies . . . though at least she's there. Knock knock knock, goes the door, and a bag full of lovely sandwiches on fresh baked bread and a nice salad are handed over; Morgan wears a pretty sundress in roughly the color of sunset over the lake.

"Hey. How're you?"

[Ashley] Ashley's a busy woman. She's felt guilty about that sometimes, as far as her apprentice goes, but there's little to be done for it: she's deacon now, and her mother was murdered last month, and she helped to spearhead Edom's defeat last weekend. She's Seeking soon, hoping to become an Adept, trying to figure out what she'll need to know to progress her studies in the Ars Mentis. Things aren't the way they used to be, for either of them.

One would think after Edom was killed last weekend, the chalice destroyed, that she would be in a good mood, but Ashley has been oddly moody. (Not oddly: she's often moody. But moodier than she ought to be given the challenge they overcame.) There's been an irritability about the older Hermetic. She's not snappish, but is less tolerant of teasing, more apt to take a comment the wrong way, more given to brooding and studying alone.

Maybe all the stress is just catching up. It's hard to say.

Regardless, when Morgan calls ahead and offers to bring dinner, she's a little surprised, but her tone suggests she'll be glad to sit down with her apprentice for a little while. Non-alcoholic drinks are fine with her: she has plenty of beer in her refrigerator if she wants it, after all.

"Hey, kiddo," she says, taking the bag from Morgan and bringing it inside. She's wearing a sleeveless light blue tank top over jeans: not usually something she'd wear out, but she's just been hanging around her apartment today, reading. Her freckles stand out; so do her scars. Slash marks, pale as the rest of her skin now, crisscross over the back of one shoulder; there's a dime-shaped shiny patch beneath the collarbone of the other. "I'm all right. What's the occasion?"

[Morgan] Morgan hasn't pushed for more friend-time with Ashley; she knows, has for years, the difference between 'tutor' and 'friend' and a great many other things. Which isn't to say that she isn't friendly with Ashley (certainly more so than she is with Basil), but that their relationship has become a bit more professional, if not cooler. The younger is still protective of the elder, as is likely applicable in reverse, but some of that nearly sisterly camaraderie has likely suffered from all of this.

"Nothing, really. I just thought it'd be nice - we haven't sat down and eaten together without anything pressing hovering for awhile, and I was baking." She shrugs, then grins a bit, giving Ashley an expression the Tytalean knows is reserved solely for her. Morgan doesn't look so much like her 'real' self for anyone else, not ever. "I'm glad everything's taken care of with the big bad and the zombies."

She moves automatically to the kitchen to get plates, forks for the salad, and cups for the fresh juice - it turns out, under that, there's guacamole and home-made chips as well. And underneath being glad that everything's taken care of is being glad that Ashley's . . . well, in one piece, at least, and saying she's alright.

[Ashley] Company is something Ashley has never been sure of how to ask for. It's the same with attention from people: she's never learned how to say hey, I miss you, hey, we should be better friends than we are. She doesn't know how to bridge those gaps. She is an only child, and like Morgan, her relationship with her parents is a complicated one. So if she's upset by the fact that their relationship has grown more professional and distant, by the fact that she doesn't know how to fix it, she's quietly so, stoic in the face of such things. That's just how Ashley is.

Given that dinner was going to be white rice and raw fruit - she isn't much of a cook - she looks pleased by the sandwiches. "Thanks, Morgan," she says, appreciative, as she brings everything over to the coffee table. Ashley doesn't have a real one: when she's eaten with people at her house (mostly Kage), generally they've sat on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"I'm sorry I've been so busy."

[Morgan] "It happens. I was getting everything squared away for school and doing some pre-reading amongst working with you and Basil, so I haven't been particularly available, either. It happens, I guess. Oh, I made everything in there except the meat and cheese. Those, I got at this little kosher deli I know."

That's in tones reserved for places from her old life - from Enid's life, really. Morgan is, in some ways, the phoenix who rose from the ash, though she lacks the certainty and grace to rock it the way it should be rocked. It will come eventually, in theory. Already, she's so very much stronger than she was when Ashley first met her - strength through adversity.

[Tytalean]
(Quaesitor)
[Tytalean]
(Quaesitor)

"So, I suppose I should apologize for the same thing, really." Morgan is not unlike Ashley in many things, in her own way . . . but she has the benefit of having been raised by her father, who was openly affectionate, and of having had two very close friends, however badly that had ended. So there's hesitation, but after a bit of thought, after weighing the possible outcomes of saying so, she adds, "I guess it's because I miss you. Silly, I know, but oh well. So now we both have a bit of time and we can spend it together."

[Ashley] Morgan says she misses her, and there isn't any affirmation, really. Just a glance in the girl's direction, a meeting of eyes - bright blue eyes to brown - and a grin. "All right. That sounds like a good plan to me."

She pulls the sandwiches out of the bag, the guacamole and chips, and arranges everything on the table. Zane, when he wanders over to investigate, is scolded - but gently. After everything is arranged, after juice is poured, she takes a seat in front of the coffee table, crosslegged.

"How's your studying been going? And how's learning from Basil? Is he treating you all right?"

[Morgan] "Not too badly. The hundred level classes are going to kill me with boredom, at least a lot of them, but I'm only taking the prerequisites and some applicable electives. I've been doing a lot of reading ahead, and working with Mr. Galloway is a huge boon, with going through the various casefiles and tracing back the cases involved - not generally the sort of law I plan on going into, but still, it's good exposure. And Basil's . . . alright."

She shrugs on the last, and it's clear she's not exactly certain how she feels about him; sometimes he's harsh to the point of meanness and brings her to gritting her teeth and (quite literally) biting her tongue not to talk back, and sometimes he's almost kind. For Basil.

"He's tough, but I think he's fair. And very interesting to learn from."

[Ashley] At the mention of hundred level classes, Ashley rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you can walk through most of those. I remember being bored in mine, and I was doing post-secondary for high school." It's odd, how broken up her college experience was: two years in high school and two years after she turned twenty-five. Traumatic brain injuries will do that.

That Basil is a good tutor, that brings on a thoughtful frown. It's not something she'd expected to hear, but she's pleased to hear it nonetheless, that he's actually teaching Morgan well, that she's learning things of use. That he's fair. It means Ashley will be able to give Morgan over to him for her initiation into Quaesitor in good conscience.

"As long as he knows what he's talking about. Though I'm sure he's well-informed, at least. He was part of the group that went to kill Edom last weekend." Ashley dabs a chip into the guacamole, munches quietly. "I...sort of regret that we aren't somewhere like Boston. There were a lot more Hermetics there. But it's good to get some exposure to other Traditions, too."

[Morgan] The younger girl hasn't asked to be handed over to anyone, certainly; there's always been question, though, of whether she'd fit best in Tytalus or whether she'd be better as an ally elsewhere, that 'elsewhere' most likely being Quaesitor. Perhaps she knows this is coming, this change in mentors - perhaps that's what furrows her brow now, as she looks away from Ashley and down at her food. She'll do what is best for her, of course, but she doesn't want to lose the connection with the girl who was, for a while, very nearly everything to her.

Not any more than she wanted to lose connection with her father, or Uncle Zeke, or . . .

But thinking that way isn't a pleasant way to go, and while Morgan's far from unaccustomed to dealing with the unpleasant, she doesn't particularly want to over what is supposed to be a relatively light and fun meal with her mentor.

"I've met a few of the other Traditions - I've been trying to be more social, anyway. Some seem worth . . . I don't know. Talking to, I guess. That Riley girl," who is nearly a decade older than Morgan, "seems like she could be useful. And Emily, of course, has been fantastic, and Kage and Wharil as well." But most of her encounters produce less favorable impressions - for which she can hardly be blamed, in many cases.

[Ashley] "They're all worth talking to," Ashley says. "At the very least, debate with them will challenge your ideas and reaffirm them. Sometimes you'll come across something useful that you haven't thought of, and there's nothing shameful about adapting that idea. Either way, you benefit, and it doesn't hurt to have allies."

Ashley pops another of the chips into her mouth, crunches for a moment. Her gaze drifts out the window: she didn't think too differently from Morgan, for a long time. Until she came to Chicago, and particularly, until she began to deal with her Jhor. Really deal with it. She's changed a lot in only the past couple of months.

"I'm thinking about studying with the Verbena, once I have an Adept's knowledge of the Ars Mentis and can devote my full attention to it." Considering a second Tradition: that isn't a thing anyone does lightly. It isn't something many people do; it's hard to serve two masters, after all.

[Morgan] ".....really?" This is surprised - not that Ashley's considering taking on the teachings of another Tradition as well as the Order, but that she's chosen Verbena. Morgan's not even certain who there is in the city to help her with that, should she do so, but she has no doubt that Ashley could do it on her own if she decided to do so. And it's completely distracted from the 'talking to other Traditions' bit, though it's something Morgan's likely to think on later; she does know people from others that she values, after all, even if she doesn't necessarily understand them at all. "Why?"

Not that it matters, really; she's a curious girl, is all, and clearly if it's something Ashley's considering, it must have as much value as this idea of listening to the ideas of others.

[Ashley] "Well, I've had a lot in common with the ones I've talked to," Ashley says. "They've talked a lot about the ideas of competition and sacrifice...and those are ideals I've fit into my Tytalan training. Besides which...I want to study the Ars Vitae. I like the idea of...of working with things that are alive, and I think there are a lot of ways I can grow through studying with them. Ways I probably could grow within the Order, but more effectively within their Tradition, maybe. And my Avatar has been nudging me towards it."

This is the first time Ashley has articulated her specific reasons to anyone, and it shows a little. She isn't hesitant, but she has to think about her words before she says them; there are a lot of pauses, a lot of thoughtful glances toward the window.

Her Jhor has clearly had a strong effect on her, in more ways than one.

"It would be good for me. I'd need to find someone to teach me, which might take a while, but it's something I'm very interested in."

[Morgan] "Alright, then. If it's what you're being called to do . . ." She shrugs, and has given talks on this - would have at her high school graduation if not for The Incident, the one that she speaks of so rarely, has put behind her, neatly compartmentalized into the Before section of Enid Geraint's life, which she learns - and distances herself - from. "I hope you know you can talk to me about anything. And that if you need me, all you have to do is call."

There's a frown then, followed quickly by a laugh.

"Isn't that a line from a cheesy song? Anyway, it's true." It always has been, since they met - never mind that Morgan's younger, that she's an apprentice and Ashley is nearly an Adept. In Ashley, Morgan found a big sister at least for a while, and she does her best to be a good younger sister, as she (also an only child) imagines them.

[Ashley] "I know. Likewise." Nevertheless there are, of course, things that it wouldn't occur to her to speak to her younger sibling about: she is telling Morgan her plans, not asking for advice. Her mind has been made up on the matter. She's mindful, too, of the fact that she is Morgan's mentor: she needs to be setting an example, she needs to be what Morgan should grow into. She needs to be something Morgan should want to compete against and surpass.

There's a beat, and then she adds, "If you find a cabal sometime, I'll have to bring you down to speak to the node. Catherine. It's...the node is sentient, and speaking to it was incredible. I've only read about it happening one or two other times."

Another pause, and she picks up one of the sandwiches, considers her words, considers the edges of the bread before she bites into it. Says, "It's not just that I feel -called- to it, by the way. It's that I feel it's another path to understanding that has truth in it."

[Morgan] "But . . ." That's confusing to her. She doesn't understand, not really, though she's trying; she hasn't passed judgment as she does so often, over so many people. "How can you walk two paths at once?"

She's finished a sandwich by now, and drinks some juice before dishing up salad and offering Ashley the same; it's a fantastic mix of fresh lettuces, with tomatoes, toasted almond slivers, carrots, cucumber, and a homemade vinaigrette. She hasn't thought to give advice yet, knows her mentor well enough to know that if this is being brought to her, it's already been thought through and decided upon, and even if it hadn't, she doesn't feel educated enough in this arena to advise.

"And isn't it . . . I don't know, way complicated politically? I've read about people who went dual-Tradition. Neither side tends to trust them as much as they would one who was only in either."

[Ashley] "It's not walking two paths at once," Ashley says, with a shake of her head. "It's...letting two conflicting halves strengthen the same whole. I mean, being a Hermetic is only part of who I am. That doesn't mean that being something else can't be a part of it too."

Which, too, is different: when she first came to the city Ashley thought of herself first and foremost as Hermetic, based much of her identity around it. That has changed. She's now Hunger, moreso than anything else; she's becoming her Word, not her Tradition. Isn't that one of the things any Hermetic seeks to do?

"Politically, it will be complicated," she says. "But I think I can handle it."

[Morgan] It may well be something any Hermetic seeks to do. It may be something Morgan seeks to do as well, some day, but for now? She's young, and new, and struggling with how to maintain Hermetic studies and mundane ones, and dead set on excelling at both. Still, in the days since finding her Word, she's become more of it, too - or perhaps it's become more of her.

There is no mistaking her for much other than Verity, now, even with those demands she places on herself. There is no wondering how she came by her new resonance.

"Best of luck in it, then. And, like I said, I'm here." It's a support system not as immediate as a cabal, perhaps, and that's when her attention is drawn back to mention of the node - she has no cabal, and no prospect of one. But she does have something, and she rises to get the bag she'd set on the floor by the door when she came in, right next to her shoes.

"I wondered," she says, rummaging until she comes up with the three 'eggs', glowing still with their pure creative energy. "I can't use these yet, not on my own. I know I could sell them, but that seems silly." Almost idly, her hand moves to her ring-on-a-chain, the one that feels of growth. "Is it possible to move the tass from these, into this?"

She still doesn't know exactly what that ring is, just that it feels good, and brings to mind her grandmother.

[Ashley] Ashley looks at the little eggs, at something she's retrieved - Tass, she realizes as she looks at it. Apparently Morgan's been out doing things, out keeping herself busy, and the older Hermetic takes this in with some approval. The girl has been taking her advice, it would seem.

She looks from the Tass to the ring and says, "Yes, it's possible. But you'd need an initiate's understanding in order to do it."

She looks from the ring and then up into Morgan's eyes. "Something to work toward. But since that may be unlikely to happen soon, you really might want to sell the Tass. The Tellurian will start to absorb it, after a while."

[Morgan] "I thought so, from what I read," she says with a sigh. "And I will learn, some day. How does one go about selling this sort of thing?" For favors, no doubt, but Morgan is straightforward and honest enough (for now) that she has trouble thinking of what those favors might be. That covered, the ring gets fingered fondly for a moment before it's allowed to fall back under her dress's modest neckline, and then the eggs are returned to their spot in her bag.

And yes, Morgan has been out doing things, keeping herself busy. She's learned, and grown, and changed . . . all quite a lot in a relatively short time, possibly more in the past month or two than most of the time Ashley'd known her prior. She has a better understanding, as far as her current limitations allow, and she pushes against them constantly.

[Ashley] "I've never tried to sell Tass, so I'm not exactly sure," she says, with a slight smile. "You could put up a notice in the chantry, on the board, and see what others will give you for it. Tass is valuable, particularly to initiates, since it's harder for them to track down themselves. And particularly, I assume, to people who currently don't have access to the node."

"Where did you get the Tass from?" she asks, with a curious glance toward Morgan as she takes a bite from her sandwich. Chews, quietly, and gives her apprentice her full attention.

[Morgan] "I miss camping," is what Morgan starts with, which seems apropos of nothing, until, "so I went out in the woods - ran into a girl named Riley and a kid named Alex out there. And there was this thing. It asked questions, and when it was done, it left and there were these. We got three each."

They could have divided them any way, and technically, Morgan could have argued that she deserved more, given more in depth answers to most of the questions . . . but she hadn't, and they'd divided the eggs evenly.

"It was kind of . . . fun. And weird. But mostly fun."

[Ashley] Ashley raises an eyebrow at Morgan as she mentions that there was a 'thing,' and that it was asking questions, and that Tass was their reward. She hasn't spoken with Riley in a little while, and she hasn't ever met Alex: she hasn't heard about this incident from either of them.

"So what questions did it ask? And what were your responses?"

She asks because she's curious, of course, and because she wants Morgan to share her experiences. She's also curious to know how her teaching is going, what has taken hold.

[Morgan] "It asked about the difference between truth and reality, and I said that truth is what is, and reality is what seems. With more words than that, but that's what it boiled down to. And then it asked whether conflict or harmony was a better teacher, and I said conflict because if there's harmony, if everything's peaceful, there's no reason to stretch and grow."

She shrugs, and knows there are many who would argue with her - but this is how she sees it, what she's come to realize is her truth. Maybe it's different for Alex and Riley - she hadn't paid terribly much attention to their questions, or their answers. They hadn't been nearly as important.

"And it asked how much of the answers I gave was my own voice as opposed to what I read or heard from other sources, and I said that my ideas were a different sum than the grand total of the parts that formed them. It was interesting."

[Ashley] "Do you think harmony is necessarily peace?" Ashley asks, raising her eyebrows as she looks in the girl's direction. "What about two people working in harmony against an outside conflict? Don't you think you could learn anything from that?"

A beat. "How much do you think my teaching influenced your answers?"

[Morgan] "I think any time you put two people together they learn from each other, but that competition is human nature. The minute the shared conflict is gone, the conflict becomes the other. And . . ." The second question gets a hint of frown, but it's thoughtful, not angry. "I think your teaching drew forth and helped define ideas I already had. Law is hardly a field lacking in conflict, and if I didn't think that was something I wanted to deal with, I wouldn't have chosen it. But before meeting you and studying under you, I don't know that I necessarily would have been able to articulate it that way."

[Ashley] "I don't know, Morgan. You don't seem like the type to seek out conflict. Or enjoy it," Ashley says, with a look toward the girl. "Usually, you give me answers that you think I want to hear from you - you want to be like me, rather than surpass me. You never argue with me or defy me. That's harmony, not conflict."

She raises her eyebrows at the girl, takes another bite from her sandwich and chews for a few seconds before washing it down with some of the juice. "And I've seen you behave similarly with others. So...is conflict or harmony the better teacher?"

[Morgan] "You haven't given me reason to defy you. Conflict without reason is a distraction, not a learning tool. And while I will admit," she says with a hint of blush, "that being like you is hardly something that I'd scoff at, ultimately, there's something else I'd rather be. And I will get there, with all the conflict it takes to do so."

Then, at the last, there's a wry twist of a smile; Ashley's not seen her with others as much lately. "That applies to the others as well. But still, I suppose the answer I gave the . . . thing - the jaberwock-thing - was only half right. Both have their uses, and it's up to the person experiencing either to make the best of it. I would argue, however, that conflict is more interesting."

[Ashley] "Haven't I?" Ashley asks, raising her eyebrows at the girl. "When we started talking, I remember you thought that everything was energy. That was how you used to see it. You abandoned all of that pretty fast. Was it because you didn't believe it that strongly? Because how can you be sure that your -new- beliefs are the right ones, then? Or was it because you decided to believe whatever you thought you had to in order to be a Hermetic?"

Ashley pauses, sets the sandwich down, wipes crumbs from her hand, and watches her apprentice. Rather expectantly.

[Morgan] "I didn't abandon all of it," Morgan answers, her lips pressed tight for a moment before she speaks, her eyes on her plate. "Even if an idea was wrong - and I don't think all of that was - you still had it. It's still part of you. Also, 'defy' is not the same as 'disagree'. I defied my mother, with reason. Sometimes I disagree with you, or with Basil, and so I ask questions that may lead to agreement, or to outside research that ends up with it all settling into what I think is right."

She pauses for a moment and looks from her plate back to Ashley. "The day that I become absolutely certain my beliefs are right, the day I stop looking for truth . . . I think that will be a sad day. Because if I have that, what is there to strive for?"

[Ashley] Ashley watches Morgan while she says what she has to say, blue eyes impassive. But thoughtful. There's just a beat, a moment of quiet, before she says, "So do you think there's truth to be found?"

[Morgan] "I think there must be. We all have our own versions of it, right? What's true for me isn't necessarily for you, and vice versa. But if you fit all those bits together, there must be some sort of whole." Morgan is not impassive - she rarely, if ever, truly is. Her face is animated, and her eyes seek . . . something. She wants to know more, wants to fit the pieces together, and it shows.

[Ashley] "Hm," Ashley says, leaning her back against the front of the couch. She's drawn her knees up to her chest, the sandwich set aside for now. She knows her truth (conflict is eternal, is in all things, is overcome by Will), but her reality is in some ways a simpler one: she's an instinctive creature, Ashley.

"So is reality a lie, and you manipulate it to seek for truth? What is it to you now?"

[Morgan] "Reality is what seems. It's made up of perceptions and how they combine to make a near-truth that's acceptable to those seeing it. I manipulate it to see past what seems to what is. The truth." It doesn't make her energy thoughts wrong, or a lie - she can see the energy traces, be it kinetic or pyretic or any other sort, if she looks just right, after all - but makes it a part of something else.

[Ashley] "Interesting," Ashley says, with a glance toward her apprentice. It isn't meant just to be a placeholder in conversation; when she speaks words like that, she means them. And that's a somewhat approving glance, that Morgan is working through this on her own, that she's taken Ashley's influences and combined them into something new.

"You've given this a lot of thought," she adds. "So what about if you were to...I don't know, pull a fireball out of the air. What would you call that? Manipulating the seeming?"

[Morgan] "Yes, it is; the fire is there, it just has to be harnessed, and pulled - or pushed, I suppose - to where I want it. It's part of my reality, who not everyone else's?" Not everyone's, ideally, but the point is there.

[Ashley] Ashley makes another thoughtful noise as Morgan explains this, and gives the girl a nod. "You've really done a lot of work on figuring this out, Morgan. Good job."

It's hard to believe, really, that eight months ago the girl knew absolutely nothing; she's made a lot of progression in that time. Ashley grins over at her and then picks up her sandwich again. "Lecture's over, I promise."

[Morgan] "Lectures aren't so bad. Practical application is better, though," Morgan says with a hint of grin, and then an over-dramatic sigh. "Oh, so many years of lecture to go before the bar. So much to sit through." And from there, it's finishing dinner and something that's closer to that sisterly rapport they shared than they've been for awhile.

((I don't know if this is going to come through! I lost my other window and my IM connection. But if it does come through, it's a wrap, I think.))